Herman Cain Needs A Twitter

Ever looked at an everyday teenagers social network page? Any of them. Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr, any of them. If you have, I'm sure you've read some of the same types of nonsensical one-liners that teens are infamous for.

Parents just don't understand. It's me against the world. Nobody understands me - the type of rhetoric rebellious teens are known for.

Come to think of it, when you look at the Republican presidential field, there's one man that if nothing else, he's great at one-liners.

Herman Cain, the creator of the "9-9-9" tax plan/catchphrase, has throughout the campaign trail delivered some of the most memorable one-liners in recent American politics. He's displayed a magical form of stupidity, magical because it's such a unique display of stupidity that you can fit his one-liners perfectly into 140 characters, so Herman Cain needs a Twitter asap.



Just think about it.

"If you don't have a job, don't blame wall-street, blame yourself!"
""How do you say delicious in Cuban?" I mean, is there even a language called Cuban ?

This is insanely genius stupidity here.

After calling himself "black walnut ice cream" because "it tastes good all the time", Cain was asked what he would name Michelle Bachman, his answer?: TUTTI FRUTTI

I mean, picture that as a status update or a Tweet. One word, EPIC.
And his ingenious food tweets wouldn't stop at borderline sexist ice cream names, how about "the more toppings a man has on his pizza, the more of a man I think he is."

Yes, he actually said that.

Referring to former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi as princess Nancy ? Come on, this stuff belongs on someone's twitter feed somewhere. The immaturity and ignorance Herman Cain puts on display on the national stage doesn't belong in the same conversation as the President of the United States. It belongs on a social network site on Twitter.

I'm sure Peter Griffin and Stewie would follow him right away.